When I think back on my journey away from Cancer, I think about the things I would have missed. Susan G Komen did a project where survivors were asked to send pictures and stories about what they would have missed (I assumed to fashion into an ad). I sent my recording citing the many great moments I have had in my life since I was given a diagnosis of Metastatic Breast Cancer, NOW 18 years ago. The list was long, weddings, Christmases, graduations, adventures, but I hadn't had one of the greatest moments yet... the birth of our granddaughter Alexandra.
While looking at Alex I see so many moments from my past. I see my Mother and grand parents. I remember Glenn and I as we learned how to be parents and care for a wee one. I remember my own childhood and the birth of my siblings. I guess there is probably more remembering going on now than in any other time in my life. But there is also dreaming. I am dreaming about Alexandra's life and her parent's lives.
I see her as she starts to crawl - cuts her first tooth. I grab a mental photograph of the first time she eats strained carrots as the orange puree streams down her face. I see her stand holding on to chairs and tables. I smile with understanding as I see Allison and Chris consul her after she has skinned her knee. I hang her drawings on my refrigerator and share each tiny detail with anyone who shows an interest. It's with pride and excitement that I imagine her sailing on the bay with her grandfather and our friends.No where in all this dreaming do I have a place for Cancer.In my dreams for Alexandra and me, we have moved beyond Cancer to a place where skinned knees are the biggest owee you need to think about. To a day where pink is just a color again. Maybe her favorite color not because of what it stands for but because it is the color she likes best tied in the ribbons of her hair.18 years ago. I didn't think I could have these dreams but now I do. Now I don't only dream these things I believe them because I have to. And I will do whatever is in my power be be sure these dreams become reality. I will walk and raise funds until we find a Cure. I want every woman to experience the joy of holding their granddaughter in their arms and imagining years and years and years of moments of joy.
CELEBRATE with me the world we are creating for Alexandra - Donate to my walk. 75% of all net proceeds goes to research, the rest to education and community support.