When the sun shines...

A picture speaks a thousand words... So read about my walk today on this beautiful day....

I will return later to fill you in on the details.

Glenn was off sailing. I had the day off. The sun was shining like a welcome beacon calling, come out and play, so I did. I headed up the street into the heights of Marinview to the trailhead, leading to MiWok trail.

The gate crosses Countyview Road, but there is a spot to sneak around. Then you're off, on the trail, heading ever upward to the crest of the coastal mountains.

Before I reached the trail I ran into two different neighbors. One I spoke with about the market, the other warned me about Mountain Lions. To both I said, "don't' worry about me, "I know how to look big."

During the day I saw many birds, a few dogs, hikers and bikers, runners and people of all ages, but no Mountain Lions!

But mostly I saw VIEWS!

Isn't it amazing that all of this is out my own back door?
Another reason why Marinview is such a magical neighborhood to live in.

New hat... same old girl.

I could see trails off in the distance I have hiked before. This is Marincello.

The sparkly day, the views covered all of Southern Marin. Out to San Pablo Bay, over to Angel Island, to Tiburon and Mt Tam, then at last the ocean.

And along the way the wild flowers were beginning their yearly show.

Out over Tennessee Valley Trail to the Pacific.

More flowers.

Me and my shadow...

The poppy in bloom, the expanse of the Golden Gate National Recreation Area stretching out in the distance.

This portion of the trail was the Miwok Cutoff trail....

I heard the person in front of me remark, they should have guard rails on this trail.

Over to Mount Tamalpais

The Miwok trail (not the cut off)

Muir Beach

There were huge sections of purple on the hills above Muir Beach. It looked like what you would think heather might look like....

The waves along the beach, at Ocean Beach in SF.

We'll be there in October!

I saw this bright yellow flower growing here and thought...

"Have you ever found yourself in a rut?"

Heading down toward Muir Beach. I kept walking until I saw a very steep decline...and I declined to take it. I headed back.

But I took a wrong turn and started down into Tennessee Valley. I turned around half way down the hill to retrace my steps. I had a 3 pm meeting to attend and the Tennessee Valley walk would have taken too long...

Here's the turn I needed to take at the Coyote Ridge Trail.

Along the trails and off in the landscape are old abandoned fences. They used to hold back grazing stock, but now they provide great perspective for your photos.

Heading back to Countyview on the MiWok Trail, I got to scoot through this wonderful stand of Eucalyptus. I am sure their days are numbered. They are not native to California, and there is a plan to remove all non native plants in the Golden Gate National Recreation Area.

Close up of bark...

I walked along past the trailhead at Marin Drive.

Then I walked back home. Down, down , down the hills until I could hear the dogs welcome me. Before my meeting I quickly loaded the photos for you to enjoy.

One other great thing that happened on the hike was the young couple who called out to me after seeing my pink tee-shirt. "Hey is that the walk that went through Sausalito last year?!' I got to talk to them about the walk, and why I am walking. They promised to look up Team:Are We There Yet? Who knows, maybe they will even make a donation!

And maybe you will too.

Saturday in Marin

Saturday was a spectacular day, and meant to be enjoyed outside. I was lucky to combine a little work, with walks. Starting at the Mill Valley dog park.

Sometimes, it takes a friend to get you walking...

Take a close look at the picture above. That Golden Retriever is actually walking, on leash, the other dog. She is holding the end of the red leash in her mouth, and she walked the other dog from the dog park all the way to their car. It may have been one of the cutest things I ever saw. I asked the owner how he taught the dog that trick and he said "Oh she taught herself that trick."

Once we got back to the house, Glenn went to work, and I left to walk to Molly Stones and the office. Off I went, goodbye house....

The pathway from the neighborhood has been lined with the forget-me-nots of the season.

And the little seasonal creeks are cutting through the ferns on their way down to the Bay.

Spring green is replacing the tired grass from winter.

Ducks are seen in couples this time of year. I saw at least five couples along the creek.

The air smells fresh and new.

Tennessee Valley Road fruit stand is open for business.

Snowy white egrets looking for marshland tidbits.

A duck couple staking their territory.

The male looking ever vigilant while the female is chilling out, or laying eggs which I am sure doesn't involve all that much chilling out for her.

To the office, with its dramatic views.

The office clock tower

Along Gate Five Road there are several car repair shops. This one had older models (my vintage), another works on Ferraris and Lotuses

When I got to Molly Stones there was a Jelly Belly Promotional motor home giving out samples.

After getting the groceries for dinner tonight (at Glenn's Dad's house), I head back to the office.

Along the way I met some clients, and talked about a house I think they should buy and set an appointment for later in the afternoon to show another couple a home. Smartphones help meto work while I walk... That's smart phone!

Back at the office I took a look at my fund-raising site http://www.the3day.org/goto/donatetocathy

I have a goal of $5000. Currently my number sits at $1,900. I am hoping that by my birthday 4/30 I will have hit my goal. To do that I need your help! Anything will help. You can pay in installments if that is easier. Along this walk I also was emailing my friend who has just been diagnosed with Breast Cancer. I made a plan with her to bring soup over to her house and sit and help put all of this scary news into perspective. God, knows as I do, you can survive Breast Cancer. I am living proof. But we also know, many people have not. What we do, DOES matter.

The money raised for Susan G Komen WILL help us end cancer in our lifetimes.

Each day when I have the chance to walk I feel EXTREMELY empowered. I feel as if I am doing something about Cancer. Each step makes me feel as if I am getting more and more power over something that threatened to take my life. I feel as if ,with each step, the likelihood of our daughters having to face this is lessened. People ask me if I get tired of walking. The simple answer if no. The deeper answer is the walking invigorates me and give me purpose.

Thank you for making the way even more meaningful by donating.

And now another pair of walkers......

Clueless Doctors....

Please do not misread this blog as a condemnation of all Doctors, because it isn't, but...Can I just say many Doctors are simply CLUELESS! Make fun of little blond girls from the "Valley" as much as you want but honestly...what planet did some of these educated men and women come from. Sometimes for such brillant people, you are just dumber than dumb.

I used to work for a pharmaceutical company in the 1970's. During my time there I called on hundreds of doctors. Out of those doctors maybe 10% had what I would call, good people skills. Those doctors could talk to you, without looking down at you, look you square in the eye and be comfortable communicating with you. But, the majority either acted quite superior, or inept when it came to talking. I know, I was a salesperson and regular Joes and Janes on the street brush off sales people all the time, but trust me, it was more than that.


When my mother had cancer I went with her to her oncologist. She had been prescribed a very high dose of steroids and it had been months since the drug was prescribed. When I went to a training session with my company, I spoke to the person who developed and tested that drug. I explained the situation and he said, "She really shouldn't be on the drug for that long and here's why." I took this information back to the Doctor who was aghast that I would question his decision. "You are just like a first year law student." he said. And he dismissed me and my mother. I took my mother back to the car and said I had forgotten someone. Finding him around the corner, I asked for a minute of his time. He rolled his eyes.


I told him I appreciated the fact that he knew much more about medicine than I ever would. I told him he had an impressive resume. I said" I know when you are in a practice where people are dying like my mother it is easy and maybe even somewhat necessary to shield yourself from the emotion of losing so many patients." But I pointed out my mother wasn't a cancer patient her name was Bettie Collis. She is the mother of four children. She is very frightened and she has been having side effects from the medication you have been over-prescribing. I am asking you to call the Doctor who developed this medication and see if you still believe in your decision. I am asking you to accept the fact that in this situation you could actually be wrong.


He did titer the dose down the next week.

Within a week her bowel perforated (a side effect from the high dose of the medication.)


When I had Cancer, I knew the importance of asking questions and waiting for an answer. But when you are the one going through the moment, it is hard to hear all the answers. We did our research and met with several Doctors. Glenn went with me. Overall most of the Doctors we met treated us with respect and compassion. In my case the one possible exception would be the Plastic Surgeon. We visited him to discuss reconstruction. He looked at me with my shirt off and told me I had nice breasts. (That was uncomfortable). Then he said I can understand why you might like reconstruction, but you are over weight. "Why don't you loose weight and you can treat the surgery like a reward."


This left me not only a woman battling cancer, but a woman of unacceptable weight battling cancer. I didn't cry that often in the course of this battle, but that was one of the times. I never did get reconstruction.


This week I have three friends who have shared with me their stories of their battles. One has a recurrence of melanoma. The Doctor looked at her and said "I don't know if you want a PET scan, because you may not like what you see." Excuse me!!! How can that person possibly think that is supportive of someone in such dire straits? She already knows it is very bad, how about telling her what she CAN do about it, not what she CAN'T. If you don't have the answer give her the name of people who are doing studies or people who have had some success. Even if they are outside your organization. Give her some power in a powerless situation. Do not discount her.


The second person has battled with her insurance company just to get a biopsy done of a "suspicious" region in her neck. Everyone agrees the chances are great that it is cancer. But her insurance would not cover the one hospital nearby that could do the biopsy. They finally after months sent her to another hospital where the Doctor said, "it's cancer, but in the area it is I can't get a biopsy. You will have to go to another hospital." So now it has been months and she still doesn't have her definitive diagnosis or plan. HELLO!! Has anyone heard what they have just told her. Does anyone believe the studies that Cancer grows best in a stressful environment?!


The last person of this week, has fought battle after battle with her Kaisers Doctors. This week they were going to biopsy her lump and inject dye into he nipple to determine if her lymph nodes are involved. They had planned on doing the entire surgery without a general anesthesia. In the process of saying why they needed to do this, they told her if they don't "we may not be able to save your life." Ok... remember what I said about stress?!


You have to know your audience. Some people need to be shaken awake so they can put on their battle gear and fight for their lives. Other people are so frightened already, words of potential doom can simply put their whole being into overdrive. It takes a people person to know the difference and I am afraid too often in medicine, a profession about and for people, this skill is non-existent.


So what is the lesson in this. As I was writing this entry I received an email from the person who was recurrent melanoma thanking her girlfriends for the information they sent about other Doctors, other hospitals and studies about her illness. She said, it made her angry, her doctor who obviously didn't have a long term plan for her. She said, just as she was receiving these leads from us, her son called to say he is playing tennis with a melanoma specialist at Stanford. Funny how when she opened her mind to other opinions one was sitting right in front of her and she had never realized it.


What does this tell me? If you find yourself in a corner when you have an illness, staring straight in front to you into the self-limiting direction with there is nowhere to go. Turn around. For God's sake, turn around and start moving.


And for you Doctors out there. Do me a favor. Imagine it is you hearing the words you are about to deliver to your patient. Feel what that feels like for a minute. Just a minute. Be a cancer patient. Be frightened and alone. Be the person who is looking at you for hope. Be that person then say what you want to say. That person is not a Cancer patient she is Bettie, Tracy, Cathy, Cindy, Joe or Robert. They could actually one day BE you. They matter.


They need your respect as much as they need your knowledge. If you reach a point where you don't have either, direct them to someone who can give them what they need. Because, in case you forgot, you are not God.

And to the Doctors who "get it". Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Why ask?

How would you like to spend the night here?

Well attend Wine Wars and bid on this auction item and you can win a night at Cavallo Point and Breakfast at Murray Circle!

I have had people tell me they could never walk in the 3 day because raising funds is so difficult. I have to admit, even for a salesperson like me asking people for money isn't my favorite thing to do. It isn't something I take lightly. But, when I do, and when people respond, I am always elated.

You don't have to scratch very deep to realize, Cancer has touched many lives. There is something very healing in feeling you can do something about that. People asked me what I got out of walking in the 3 day last year, and without hestitation my answer was my power.

I got my power back.

Whether you personally have battled cancer, or watched as someone you love battled this disease, you know at first you feel powerless. For me I felt this way for years after my illness (14 years in fact). For Patti too, last year's walk was a way to take back her life from a disease that threaten it. That is really quite a gift. But the 3 day is more than this, it is a way for all of us to do something about Breast Cancer.

When I ask you to come to Wine Wars, or donate to our walk realize I will not hate you if you do not want to, or if you cannot. Don't feel bad if this is not the year you will be able to participate. I would never be angry about soemthing like that. I will not. I would never feel that way. But please realize, I need to ask. Because if you DO want to donate and you DO want to come to Wine Wars, I would never want to keep that opportunity from you.

I have been amazed through this journey by people who THANKED me for asking them. I have had people walk up to me, when I was wearing a 3 day shirt and hand me money. One man said " my girlfriend lost her battle, thank you for walking" and then hand me a 5 dollar bill. In handing me that $5 he felt like he had done something about Cancer, and you know what, he had. He did even more than he realized. He gave the the energy and the encouragement I needed to walk further, raise more money and raise as much awareness as I personally can.

Visit www.WineWarsII as the donations start to arrive. It will be a great evening where we raise a glass and raise some funds to END CANCER in our lifetimes. I hope to see you there. If you can't make it, donate. If you can't donate, maybe you know of a business or service who can.

Fear

Yesterday I got an email from a friend of mine. She apologized for not taking up the mantle and walking with me this year, but, she is in the midst of a very frightening time.

The doctors say there is a mass in her left breast, and they have seen suspicious masses in her cervix and uterus. It is quite understandable that she is afraid. At this point the 'worse" looms like a hovering predatory bird. You feel like you are their prey. You don't know what to do. Do you run and hide? Do you stand and fight? Or do you get out your binoculars and stare it in the eye only to find out it is really a beautiful snowy white egret enjoying the sunny day.

The word Cancer carries with it such emotion and power. For most of us we know people who have lost their battle to Cancer. And perhaps even scarier, we don't understand it. How can you go from one day feeling better than you ever have before in your life, to being told you may die?

I have news though. I am standing here 15 years later and I know you can live! You can live and live and live. I don't know what in the end will take my life. If it is Cancer, so be it, but in the process I own my life not Cancer. I am not afraid of Cancer. I am afraid of fear, because I see that as the true thief.

When you live in fear you invite the monsters to come and hide under your bed. If you live in love and life and the light, there is no where for them to hide.

So my dear friend, if you are reading this I want you to know, Cancer doesn't own your destiny. Cancer will not define the course of your life, you will. Look that baddie monster square in the eyes and laugh at his arrogance. You are stronger than cancer. Love is stronger than fear. Each day you grow stronger and Cancer will retreat into the cave it came from.

You are not "the one" Cancer will take because you KNOW you will win.

You are the survivor.