Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Been a long time - 30 years to be exact

Ok so it has also been a long time since I wrote anything. In the past month I have visited my father (who has been in a nursing home in Redlands for a month). I have put away Christmas and opened up the marketing materials to get 2013 off to a good start. I have dodged several bugs, and got into a car accident. We have been attempting to refinance our home and get ourselves on solid financial ground for moving forward in our 60th year. I have nursed a dog who had come up lame and succeeded in not walking for any appreciable time in the last month. But this past week, while my partner lounges on the beaches of Costa Rica, I have been taking stock, looking ahead of me and behind me in an attempt to move ahead into the rest of the year. In looking behind something of real note took place 30 years ago yesterday, our first child, my little girl Allison was born.

There a lot of that going around, that "time" thing. But this particular one fills me with joy. I was 29 when I gave birth to Allison. She came in her own time (three weeks late) a sign of the self directed person she has become. Allison is intelligent, no doubt about it. And she is like all of us, full of her own idiosyncrasies. She, unlike me, when given the option of buying something on sale or full price would always opt for buying it on sale. She has the same car we gave to her when she was 16 (a salvaged Tercel that has been through miles and miles  and miles of life changes.) She has been known for having a black and white attitude about life, expecting that people might be well advised to do things according to the rules. Yet she traveled to Yemen by herself demonstrating that rules sometimes are broken. And she is married to someone who doesn't fit the mold and she is totally in love with him.

She is 10 weeks from giving birth to our first Grandchild - A little girl. She and Chris, her husband will be experiencing how having a child of your own somehow turns a black and white life into one  that has some room for a gray splash or two. When raising our girls I learned a lesson that I carry with me to day. In fact it is part of how I got through my experience with Cancer, keep your knees loose. Life always has its bumps, its moguls on the run. If you keep those knees locked, you will fall and when you do, you will hurt yourself and possibly others. I know this sounds a bit dramatic but it is one of the best lessons I have ever learned. Keep your knees loose.

When walking into my father's room in the nursing home, I tried to keep my knees as loose as I could.  I looked at him with sadness. There would have been a time when I would have looked at him in anger. Ours was not a perfect relationship. He was not, and is not, a perfect man. I am not (although I like to think I am) perfect either. Our relationship hangs on a thin thread but that thread doesn't break. Family is like that. It is our family that can give us the greatest joy, but somehow it is family who can cut you to the core quicker and more efficiently than anyone else. Yet this was a time to not dwell on those times, but with what was in front on me right then. An aging father reminding me that I am aging too.

Being in Redlands also had its pluses. I got to spend some time with my sister Vicki (who lives in Gig Harbor Washington.) I drove by my old house at 205 Fremont Street to see it still standing.

I had rarely seen Redlands look so stunningly beautiful with the San Bernadino Mountains in clear view. We took a trip to Palm Springs by Marilyn's statue and Frank Sinatra Blvd. Had a cocktail or two while eating outside in  January.  But most importantly, just for a moment when Vicki and I stood in our father's room, I believe he knew and appreciated us being there.

Flexibility. It is a pretty important thing.

I have two walks this year coming up. There will be a wonderful trip to see a grandchild. There will be business I need to take care of in order to keep things afloat! It seems as if most of our friends will be celebrating big birthdays. How we approach 60 should be a picture of flexibility. So my friends this should be interesting. I am not sure if my blogging will be as frequent as in the past, but I will blog. So follow along and see just where those moguls show up (because there is certain to be a few) but also stick around for the stunning vistas when I have time to take them in - I will be sure to share.


A wish for a Happy Birthday during a walk with Leslie and Olivia yesterday.  What a difference a year makes - even more 30 years. Allison did send me a photo of her standing crib side... but we will leave that for her to share. I will share a photo of her as a wee babe and a recent photo.

P.S. Actually had two good walks this week. One to the Chiropractor.... and one with Leslie and Olivia totally around 16 miles. Our walk is just around the corner. Trust me June isn't that far away! I need another $1000 to hit my minimum for the two walks. Can you help.  I am keeping a map on Facebook that I am coloring in pink for each state. Pick a state make a $20 donation and you will own that state! At the same time remember to give me names of people you would like to honor on the warrior card. I am very appreciative of it all!