Ties that bind....

I could write a book about the feelings a weekend like this brings to the surface, but I shall refrain and settle for a blog entry.

My family all rendezvoused in Gig Harbor, Washington to celebrate my Father's 80th birthday.

In all we were 20 people, missing only four of the family.

Robert Watson Collis was born in 1929. He was adopted by a truly exceptional couple from New Jersey, and although he never had an interest in his birth family, we have discovered his birth name was Doremas (sp).

His adoptive Father was an inventor, and many of his inventions we all have used throughout the year. He worked for ATT and all his inventions were their property. His adoptive Mother was a bright, sweet woman from Cresco Iowa. They added a daughter Nancy Jean to the family a few year later. Apparently my Father selected Nancy because she smiled at him. (Nancy says it probably was gas.)

Nancy and her friend Nanette are traveling to Hawaii this week to meet Nancy's birth sister, a woman named Marianne, 87, living on the big Island. Nancy unlike my Father, was always curious about her birth family. She has done her own research and found them recently. This will be the first time they have met in person. They have spoken on the phone. Nancy says her sister seems like a pistol. I say, the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree.

And that I suppose is one of the realizations I came away with. My sisters and brother are spread throughout the west coast, mostly in the Northwest. We all have made different choices for our lives, but there is no doubt we are related. We have been moulded by the same forces. Our life stories are intertwined and we will always be not only connected,

but of the same cloth.

Throughout our childhood, Vicki, Ken, Debi and I , grew in the shadow and protection of two people, our parents. Our Mother Bettie, passed away in 1977. Our Dad, Bob, remarried, divorced, remarried and divorced and remarried, an angel named Sandy.

My Dad is a very intelligent man. He has loved playing at golf, fishing, flying, making model airplanes. He has sold aluminum, grown avocados, made golf clubs and owned a pest company. He went to a photography school after college and more than one person, seeing his love of argument, have suggested he could have been an attorney. At one time he ran for a local office (water board I believe) but wasn't elected. He is very involved in his church and taught adult Sunday School for a long while. He is particularly fond of ice cream and Mt Tam Merlot (but not together). In our family he has been closest to our brother (its a gender thing). He loves us all but perhaps has found more in common with his son. He coached his little league team, went fishing, golfing and hunting with him.

At 80, he is still opinionated, holding fiercely tight to his beliefs. I do not expect that to change anytime soon. I do have to say he seems slightly more tolerate of our differing opinions than he has in the past. I seem to remember more than one heated conversation at the dinner table over politics. He was proud of me when I went into sales, and perhaps a little shocked at my starting salary with Merck. I seem to recall him saying I could sell a refrigerator to an eskimo.

The oldest of the children is Vicki. Since our mother passed, I would have to say, she is our matriarch. That may be a bit severe. She definitely is the one sibling who seems to always have a handle on what is happening with all of us.

So of course when we discussed where to hold this birthday celebration Vicki's house seemed a logical place. Besides being closer to the majority of the people who would be coming, she has a large home that over looks Fox Island in the Puget Sound. With so many people, even with all this space, Glenn, Allison and I found a B and B in Gig Harbor to sleep at.

The days we spent at Vicki's.

Debi is our youngest sister. (above on the left). Debi has four children. This weekend being the 4th of July, was her youngest daughter Grace's 3rd birthday. Her eldest (above right)Megan, is graduating this year from college. The pretty girl (upper row) is our daughter Allison, who flew out from Denver.

The first night most of the group went to the TIDES in Gig Harbor while

Vicki, stayed with our niece Kelsey.

There were a couple of photos that Glenn took that had these unexplained orbs of light.

Some people would see spirits in these.

Glenn and Ken decided to drink like it was 1979...

When we got back to the inn, Glenn had to brave sprinklers that were going full force at the door to our room. In hindsight it may have helped that he had downed that Irish Car Bomb!

Being on vacation doesn't mean you can't train... The old historical part of Gig Harbor makes a picturesque place to walk. I took several shorter walks this weekend, nursing my tight tendon. I had planned on walking 10 mile walks this weekend, but opted for a couple of 4 mile jaunts.

The Inn where we stayed is run by missionaries. They also have a sailing ship named Amazing Grace. They have her available for charter.

Below is the Waterfront Inn in Gig Harbor where we stayed. Check out that beautiful big deck! Weather was nearly perfect the entire weekend, but ended with a wee bit of sprinkles. It is the Northwest for heaven's sake!

Back at Vicki's. Friday we chose as the day to celebrate Dad. I had been put in charge of his birthday gift. We ran through a few different ideas for gift. I suggested we pull together photos and publish a book of our family and his life. I titled the book,

"The Life and Times of Robert Watson Collis"

Dad seemed to be overwhelmed a bit.

There is no doubt in my mind this was the perfect 80th birthday gift. I was so glad we all contributed to this. I think it showed Dad, that his children do care. He said more than once, that he was a lucky man.

Glenn was completely convinced the Irish Car bomb should have been made with 151 rum set on fire, dropped in a Guinness and chugged. So... He and Ken did it his way. (I am sorry honey, I don't think 151 Rum is Irish....)

The next day, Allison and I took a walk around Vicki's house. The area is so lush and green. Trees canopy the street so that even on the sunniest day, there is plenty of shade.

Foxglove I believe.....

The next day, as we waited for the fireworks and to celebrate both Gracie's and Vicki's birthdays, we all just sat around, ate, drank, talked and were...a family. I have always thought it quite unfair that the 4th of July is also Vicki's birthday. I think over the course of the years she has had to make way MORE than her share of potato salad, on a day people should be celebrating her.

Ken, Ann and Kelsey hanging on the deck.

OWEN, is Vicki's grandson, Grandpa Collis's great grandchild and Laura's son. Vicki has a picture frame that says "What happens at Grandma's stays at Grandma's." She wanted a perfect shot to put in the frame. I think around our family there is always an opportunity to take a nice juicy incriminating one.

Later in the day we pulled out the laptop and hooked up with Allison's husband Chris who is serving in Iraq. It was good, I think, for everyone to be able to connect with him. I think for him in the middle of a Iraqi dust storm, it must have seemed like the sun had just filtered through.

Above is my Aunt Nancy. We love her a lot and since she lives on the East Coast, we don't get to see her nearly often enough. She looked great. Without her, it wouldn't have been at all right. With her, it made the weekend so much more complete.

Above, you can see Debi's children,

Madeline, Matt and Megan Minkema. Matt just graduated from High School and has enlisted in the Army. He heads for basic training in August.

Settling down to open some presents. This is Grace's moment. I couldn't help but notice Grace has a strong resemblance to my Mom when she was a young child. I put Katie in charge of Laura's video camera...

But then again she is her own little princess!

Vicki as always makes the day special. Here she brings Grace her princess cake!

(Above) Matt lights a sparkler
Laura shows Owen how it's done
Coming from a place where these things are illegal, it was amazing to watch the Sound come alive with fireworks. Each individual home seemed to have their own grand display. The sound carries across the water and the vibration fills and lingers with you. It is no wonder Vicki sends her dog to a kennel to keep her calm during the 4th. Before we left, there was a haze settled over the Sound as stray explosions continued in the distance. I kept wondering how many of the people who had these grand displays were driving Priuses!

There was a lot of carbon out there that night.

On the last morning Glenn and I walked along the harbor down to this really fantastic "Green" building. They named it the Threshold Building and it houses a foundation and "wealth management" business. It had a very Frank Lloyd Wright feeling to it. They maximized light partially by creating light wells. I thought at first they might be offices set off by themselves. The building blends in, even though it is quite modern in a very quaint harbor town.

The entrance to Gig Harbor is somewhat narrow. But you could see how it creates that safe spot for boats to escape the weather. Fine homes line the waterfront and vary from rustic cottages, to stately mansions. There are fishing cabins low on the water. I saw one for sale that was listed at $750,000. I know most of the penisula is quiet affordable, so I am supposing this price was a combination of wishing, hoping and waterfront.
Most everyone left on Sunday, but Glenn and I, Nancy and Nanette had stayed on through Monday. It was a good time for us to reflect on the weekend past.

I don't think we realize, when we are young, just how important family is. I believe our job as we are growing is to make our own lives. In doing this there are almost always bumps on the way to becoming your own person. Some of those bumps involve breaking away from those things and people that have sought to define us in their image (or the image they have of us). When we finally have found our own true selves, it is only then that you turn around and realize, you are still pretty much the same little kid you always were. The difference is, if you have done your job correctly, you are comfortable with that kid. You may even like those things you sought so hard to change. Certainly, as you grow, you develop more empathy, understanding and love of those who took the journey with you. And if you are wise, you accept them as not only the people they were when they were young, but the people they are today. Just, as I suspect, you would wish to be be loved and accepted yourself. The best of times are when you can sit back with all these people and just enjoy each other, the memories and the moment.

Family. It is gift I treasure. It is important that we take the time to let them know we love them. And I hope my family knows, just how much I love them. THANKS VICKI once again for taking lead on the weekend. You are the best! Thanks also to everyone for helping me with the book, and for making the effort to come to Gig Harbor. We may not be perfect, but, we are a pretty amazing group. (well maybe you're not perfect, but you know.... I am.)

Heading back home, I am planning WINE WARS and wishing all the Collises could make it out AUGUST 20th for another great party. Thanks for your good wishes and donations to my walk too. I will be thinking of you, and Mom while I kick some cancer butt. And now.... back to work.