Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Mother's Day revisited

On Mother's Day morning I had already been treated to my bat and a lovely bonsai plant from Daughter #1, Allison. Glenn had emailed me earlier in the week and asked if I wanted to go to the club for Mother's Day brunch. I think I said if you want to....
I am not very helpful in telling people what to do...
at least when it comes to my birthday, Mother's Day or Christmas...

Kind of feel it should be about what they want to do for or with me. In that way, I am a lot like my Mother. I remember on more than one occasion her crying because either someone forgot or didn't give her flowers. Her Mother and her had birthday 2 days apart. One birthday in particular, I had my Mom's present all wrapped. I was ready to give it to her on August 7. In the morning she was crying and I asked why. I said,"What's wrong?" She said "You forgot my birthday!" "Today was Grandma's birthday wasn't it?" "Nooo!" she cried. I ran and got her present. But I never got those dates wrong again!
So as Glenn was asking me what I wanted to do, where I wanted to walk, I though a few things. Why am I decided what to do? Where are our daughters? Why am I not Bat Girl? or at least someone I could be OK "losing" to? Why am I so cranky? and finally and perhaps outweighing it all, where is my Mother?

I miss her every day but no day more than Mother's Day.

She was a great Mother. She died too young. Your Mother isn't supposed to die before she meets your husband or holds your children. You Mother is supposed to be there when you walk down the aisle.

Part of why I want to end Cancer so much is because it stole my Mother from me. Frankly I am still angry about that. So on Mother's Day I am sometimes a grouch , if truth be known.
I got dressed in my walking clothes and Glenn asked where I'd like g0. Grumpy me mentioned a few places until I said "let's walk to Tiburon." I am sure Glenn thought, that was a great idea since it would kill two birds with one walk. Where to go, and where to eat.

So off we went on a blustery cold May day. Glenn brought along the new camera and he snapped this shot of a Mother Duck with her ducklings, Belvedere and the city in the background.

We got to Sam's in Tiburon and sat on the sunny and cold deck. I had my phone with me to be checking on the Giant's game. Take a good look at the IPhone, because minutes later, the phone slipped out of my hand and in one quick bounce landed in the bay. It didn't even splash.

Knowing how attached I am to this phone Glenn looked at me with a little more panic than even I had. "Well, we're going to get a new phone today!" To me it was almost like one of those stupid things that acts like a slap in the face. WAKE UP! You are here with your sweet husband on a beautiful (but cold) day. The sun is shining. This is one of the most beautiful places in the world.
Shake off this funk and get smiling.... and walking, because I-phone withdrawal would certainly hit soon.

We finished our lunch and hit the trail back toward our car. On the way, I was present enough to grab the camera and snap a picture of this passion flower. How could I not!

We got to Corte Madera and bought a brand new Iphone 4, new pink case and screen protector. The Giants were leading the Rockies going for the sweep. We got back to the house in time to see Cody Ross hit a home run with his pink bat. Put it all together, it was a mixed bag this Mother's Day... but ulitmately as I went to sleep, I thought of two things... my daughters and my Mother.

How could I not.

I want my present to her to be better than flowers or cards or little ceramic bowls... I want to end Cancer. Can you help me?