Monday, January 2, 2012

Living with Fear

Today is a brand new day. Its a brand new day in a brand new year. The page is blank and we are able to write a new chapter of this life we are living. But for those of us who have, or are, battling Cancer, and those who are living with them, it is as if you are given a pen that may or may not have enough ink to tell the story.

There is so much to say, but as you put pen to paper, you see the ink isn't flowing as easily as you would like. It makes you nervous and hesitate. You get distracted as you scribble on a piece of scratch paper to start. Finally, you start writing, but a piece of you is wondering if you can finish the job. That fear and worry translates into a story that is less than complete, just through the hesitation.

If you look around you, you may see others are holding their breath to see just what you will do with this story you have to tell. Their own lives, being so closely connect to yours, turn on what you do. Live in fear and they are imprinted with that fear as well. Live with fullness and optimism and they will soar. Or so you think.

This isn't easy because if you are afraid, and you simply act like you are not, the life you live isn't as full, it is false. It is less powerful because it isn't genuine. What is that expression.... "The truth shall set you free." That is so very true. Living an authentic life is a powerful thing, and I believe it is so powerful it can actually conquer fear.

I have been doing a good deal of reading of powerful people's blogs. Other survivors who are striving to live that authentic life and cancer warriors who are openly sharing their feelings and lives. But there really isn't as much you read from those people who are supporting warriors. I wonder if this is because the supporting cast feel they must always be optimistic and never appear fearful.

I will tell you the truth here, I am very afraid for some of the people I know who are fighting Cancer today. It may take a miracle for them to survive. I KNOW that. But I do believe in miracles. Part of defeating an enemy is understand them. You need to stare them in the eye and come to feel them. Let them see you. Let them see you and the armies around you who know together, as they put their power to the purpose, your enemy has no chance. God and his angels have heard their collective voices. This is what miracles are made of.

But it all starts by not being afraid to pick up the pen and tell the story. Are you telling your true story, or are your sugar coating it to make it easier to tell. When you do that, you are saying the thing you fear is more powerful than you. Now.... you wouldn't want to do that would you? Pick up your pen. Shout it to the heavens, in this new day make the story you tell real.